How could you let your inner chaos spill and ruin what we have created here. From fragments of ourselves cut to pieces, our nail draws and our blood smears the intimacy we once had— forever lost? We still cling to something that isn’t there hoping to find a reason and another cause and go back from the beginning and be bared, be stripped back from all the lies and pain that was brought by mistrusts and blames. Foundation built for years was demolished. Now, debris are falling on our dented shield. How could we both let it get this far? Is there anyway to salvage this love of ours?
The feeling of falling when looking deeply into someone else’s eyes. The electromagnetic wave that it sends throughout our body that kind of makes us feel nervous. Smiling from ear to ear until our jaws hurt because this feeling is what we crave for, it’s what we watch on our screens, it’s what we wait for. The cliché of love, it’s what we want to feel and have, even if sometimes we roll our eyes to it. The shallowness of romance that fuels dreamers to create an imagination that sometimes lead to real life expectation for the hopeless romantics but it makes love and life dreamy and worth having.
As I grow older, I have viewed love as an overrated thing. I have become a buzz kill to romance. I laugh at it, I roll my eyes when I watch romantic movies. Especially, when they say cheesy lines. I hate it when a girl gets easily swept off from her feet by this guy. But I remember when I was younger, when I didn’t know anything about romance and stuff, I loved watching these films. My favorite romantic film ever is A Walk To Remember, I really loved the idea of love shown in that movie. How you grown to have faith and change for the better, and looking back at it I miss having that feeling of watching romantic films, and being a hopeless romantic. I guess I grew up as a cynical person lol. But I realized that I don’t need to be a buzz kill for other people who wants to see romance as this greatest thing that they could possibly have. They could fantasize freely on how their love story could go, they could have expectations that I find unreal, and have high standards if they want to, these things make it real for them when they finally find it. I could go on and on about how love is this overrated idea but that’s just me, I don’t want other people to have the same mind like mine and kill the idea of romance that keeps people to believe in something. Other than having faith I think love is the second thing that people hold on to in times of doubt. In short, let people believe in things even if at times we find it a bit cliché.
Now, we might be apart but deep inside my heart it is a chance to restart a part of both of our lives where we were deprive of time to venture and strive for something much deeper, much greater and much better, even if we can’t do it together.
I want to be selfish every once in a while but I look at my hand, that gold metal band around my finger reminded me that this isn’t just about me anymore. I gave up a piece of me when I said ‘I do’, and that piece of me I gave it to you, the other part of me wanted to be freed and just wanted to go back to the way it was before. But I took a vow to be with you in anyhow, to always be together even in times of doubt and remind each other why we’re here now. We won’t forget because I chose you and we’re here from every sunrise until every sunset.