How could you let your inner chaos spill and ruin what we have created here. From fragments of ourselves cut to pieces, our nail draws and our blood smears the intimacy we once had— forever lost? We still cling to something that isn’t there hoping to find a reason and another cause and go back from the beginning and be bared, be stripped back from all the lies and pain that was brought by mistrusts and blames. Foundation built for years was demolished. Now, debris are falling on our dented shield. How could we both let it get this far? Is there anyway to salvage this love of ours?
Finding love is such a wonderful thing to have, especially the idea of falling in love with someone you have known for quite a while. Hopeless romantics may say it’s a dream to have it with a friend, the trust and bond is immediately there, and after all the films that have that love story shows how perfect it truly is— it’s not. Falling in love with your best friend can cause a lot of negative emotions and consequences.
Films that has these best friend to lovers story lines messed up your expectations and reality because of how it shows these perfect stories, and you being this hopeless romantic crave for the same story for yourself. Generally, love is not like the movies (just saying).
You and your best friend became friends all these years for a reason, and you suddenly see them with heart eyes, it makes you look desperate of wanting someone in your life and you see your best friend always being there, and your brain started thinking that maybe you two were made for each other. You are made for each other in a different non-romantic way.
It also ruins your long time bond with each other, leaving you feeling awkward around them. And when you finally decide to confess your feelings and your friend doesn’t feel the same way, you’ll be manipulative and start acting out like you’re the one who got wronged. And, you’ll leave your best friend feeling devastated, or worst they’ll start believing that they feel the same way and that is just pathetic.
Sorry, but to be honest it is truly pathetic to fall in love with someone you have known for most of your life, who you trust the most, and basically have been there for you through it all. I don’t believe in you just magically fall for your friend, it is sad and unfair that it took you that long to realize that you have feelings for your best friend, you took advantage of getting to know them as a friend and use it as a way to develop the relationship into a romantic one.
Though, I’ll respect it. I mean if it’s true love then who am I to stop it?
The ray of the sun’s light is not too bright to pass through this thick fabric curtain and the morning comes but it does not shine in the other side of the window. Until the sun has to set, the bed is still yet to be vacated. Awake through the night and through the dawn with no light, just a debilitated psyche to perceive the misty surroundings— searching for a dash of light and pulling all the threads of this thick fabric. Restless mind through the dark, not even a glint came through out of all the sunrises and mornings. Supposed hopeful journeys and new beginnings led to wasted life and daily mourning.
I wrote a bunch of poetry back in 2017, it was all over the place. So, I finally retrieved it from my old broken laptop and some were from my old journal pages that I may have forgotten about.
The feeling of falling when looking deeply into someone else’s eyes. The electromagnetic wave that it sends throughout our body that kind of makes us feel nervous. Smiling from ear to ear until our jaws hurt because this feeling is what we crave for, it’s what we watch on our screens, it’s what we wait for. The cliché of love, it’s what we want to feel and have, even if sometimes we roll our eyes to it. The shallowness of romance that fuels dreamers to create an imagination that sometimes lead to real life expectation for the hopeless romantics but it makes love and life dreamy and worth having.
As I grow older, I have viewed love as an overrated thing. I have become a buzz kill to romance. I laugh at it, I roll my eyes when I watch romantic movies. Especially, when they say cheesy lines. I hate it when a girl gets easily swept off from her feet by this guy. But I remember when I was younger, when I didn’t know anything about romance and stuff, I loved watching these films. My favorite romantic film ever is A Walk To Remember, I really loved the idea of love shown in that movie. How you grown to have faith and change for the better, and looking back at it I miss having that feeling of watching romantic films, and being a hopeless romantic. I guess I grew up as a cynical person lol. But I realized that I don’t need to be a buzz kill for other people who wants to see romance as this greatest thing that they could possibly have. They could fantasize freely on how their love story could go, they could have expectations that I find unreal, and have high standards if they want to, these things make it real for them when they finally find it. I could go on and on about how love is this overrated idea but that’s just me, I don’t want other people to have the same mind like mine and kill the idea of romance that keeps people to believe in something. Other than having faith I think love is the second thing that people hold on to in times of doubt. In short, let people believe in things even if at times we find it a bit cliché.