I SURRENDER

​Walking blind around these streets without guidance of a stick. I bump walls and sometimes falls. I ask why and often cry. I lose faith and sometimes hate the way my life is. Why don’t you just take this? 

Oh Father, I haven’t been a good daughter, out of doing good or taking the easy way, I chose the latter. Oh I’m a sinner, yes I know. I’m in drought need of water to refresh my soul, I was ready to fall until I heard your call. Is there any chance for me to be forgiven? Even when I’m on the edge of blasphemy? Yes, I know I’m not worthy but here I am surrendering myself, take everything I have left. 

MY CHOICES

 
​There are so many voices
 
influencing my choices

and my mind is a mess

I think I want the best

but I’m becoming less

of who I really am.

I think my life is in vain,

maybe I’m not supposed to play this game.

It’s becoming lame. 

Do you feel the same?

Like you’re not where you’re supposed to be,

these are not what you’re supposed to see,

we’re supposed to be free but where are we?

Me? I’m still here, living in fears.

Okay I need to breathe, I need a beer.

I have this mind I need to clear.

I fall into temptations,

think I have no other options,

now I ask for my salvation.

I point and aim,

though I’m the one to blame.

I made the flame,

now it’s on fire,

it’s not what I desire,

now I’m in dire 

need of help—

I need to save myself.

The choices I’ve made

led to this fate,

I run towards my faith,

am I already too late? 

FIRE AND DISEASE

They’re setting fire and it’s slowly killing what I believe,

chaos runs around the place and I don’t know how I’ll live.

I’ll probably die by suffocation—inhaling the toxic air that they released

but I’d rather kill myself than be saved by them and infect me with their disease. 

A disease that turns you into a slave

until they send you to your grave

with no pride written on your stone—

meaningful life, you should have owned.

I could have extinguished the fire before it catches me,

though I’m soaked with gasoline— one little flame into ashes I will be. 

They’re setting fire and it’s burning what I believe,

I watch it on fire and I remember this is not what I perceived.

INFATUATION

My heart skips a beat every time I hear your name, the thought of you actually drives me insane and how I wish you would see the feelings I try to hide every time you are near and how my mind screams for you that I hope you hear.