We are falling out and we are far from getting back to the place where we once stood happily. We can retrace our steps and try to remember the memories we had but it’s impossible to feel the same way as we did before. We are now in a different phase, the one where we have to go our separate ways.
We can no longer pretend that this is still worth it because it’s not anymore, our days were numbered from the beginning and we just counted them down until the very last second of it. We can never go back and we have to accept that this is really the end.
A poetry I wrote a little while ago, most times I just save this as a draft to be posted later but I decided to share it immediately. I rarely get to do poetry like this where the words come and flow easily to my mind.
I don’t usually reveal what my poetry is about but I’ll make an exception with this one. This piece has so many interpretations for me and one is about something or someone that has been your confidant but suddenly became distant and no matter how hard you try to rekindle the flame, and you keep thinking of ways to bring that back but you end up being buried with memories that you may never bring back.
An answer to find with an indecisive mind, it does not lead to a conclusion even with just a few options.
What to do and what to choose? It just makes me so anxious. I’ll pick one and the other but later on I want the latter.
I’m hot and then I’m cold. I want to call but then I’ll fold. I meant to say ‘no’ but I said ‘yes’, I can’t seem to decide what’s best.
I wrote this for all the indecisive people out there, I know I am not alone. Isn’t it frustrating to make a decision when you don’t want to? Are you like me who wishes there is someone who would do the difficult decision of choosing what photo to post on Instagram? Lol kidding aside. I am one of those people who has a hard time coming up with decisions and when I do, I initially regret it or wished I went with the other option. I don’t know why but every time I am put in a situation where I have to choose or decide, I am convinced that I will make the wrong choice— I am afraid to make a wrong choice. Yes, I know making wrong decisions and making mistakes are all part of life but it’s kind of frustrating to think that I could’ve made the right one if I just chose the other option. It’s like I had the slightest control of the future but I messed it up.
This is probably one of the sources of my anxiety. I’m learning to let go of the ‘what ifs’. I want to be better at going with the flow, owning up mistakes, and accepting consequences of my decisions. And to be able to do that I need to just decide and choose, go for my gut and hope for the best.