FORGIVE AND JUST MOVE ON

In the words of Paramore, forgiving is not forgetting. Let’s talk about the problem with the saying “forgive and forget”, you can and should forgive but you should NEVER forget. You got hurt, a person did something bad to you, you can’t just forget that. That was a lesson and a warning, you can forgive them for the sake of your peace of mind but you should still look out for those signs, and it is not about having trust issues, it’s about protecting yourself.

I personally learned that this was the way to go, to move forward with life. So many people did me wrong and I didn’t know why I felt guilty because I said to myself that I forgave them but deep inside I was still hurt, and I didn’t forget what they did. I just couldn’t forgive them and just forget what they did to me, that was a lesson for me that I should have known from the start and I will be a complete idiot if they get to do it again. Then I started thinking to just move on and not be bothered by them anymore, I should just cut them off and stop caring if they’ll feel like that I am not the same person that I was before and that is their fault (that sounded so bad). It’s like for me, okay I forgive them, I don’t really care that much anymore about what happened but I will not let myself go through that again, what’s important is my inner peace, and it’s better if I just move on without them.

Okay, that sounded so bitter but it’s the best way to take care of your mental health. Why would you let yourself be pressured into fixing a relationship when you know they are never going to change? If the things they did to you is just a cycle, they say sorry then it’s fine, then it will happen again. Forgiveness is about letting go of the anger, and freeing yourself from hatred. And to effectively do it is by moving on and leaving it behind but also carrying the lesson it gave you. It’s really better to just move on and protect your inner peace, you are wiser now. Don’t let them bother you again. So, stop the saying “forgive and forget”, it should be “forgive and move on”.

I’m leaving you with a Paramore song that inspired me to write this one…

A SOCIETY THAT CRITICIZES MORE THAN COMMENDING

We currently live in a world where people focus more on your mistakes than appreciate the nice things that you make. One thing I keep on noticing on people is how they are too quick to judge and criticize someone even at times when the action is pretty much commendable.

I don’t know why it’s easier for people to give bad comments rather than leave an affirmative ones. I also noticed that when people give compliments it’s just a short phrase like “you look nice” or “that’s great!” etc. But when they give their opinions about how they dislike something/someone it’s detailed like they have too much words on how they “hate” it. I don’t know how people find joy in criticizing someone. Are they like sadists who takes pleasure in bringing people down? And why is it awkward to praise others for the nice things that they do or even give a simple compliment?

I’ve encountered this article on why people tend to give criticisms https://psychology-spot.com/unfair-criticism/. To summarize the article they are either of the following: They are insecure, threatened, self-centered, attention-seeker, or they are jealous of you. And I’m thinking about how all of these reasons sums up a person who has problems with self-love. It makes sense though, I see how being critical let people face their insecurities that they couldn’t address and they let it out on others as to divert the attention from their own flaws. While, others use it as a way to be seen and to feel important like they say being opinionated makes you look smart. Jealous people tends to be critical to the point of having a crab mentality because you have what they don’t have, and this also falls on being self-centered and besting out everyone. But not all criticisms are bad there are constructive criticisms which aims to make you better at what you do, we also need to learn to differentiate those apart. Sometimes it’s constructive to them but it’s not to us. Imagine if these people are so secured with themselves, they won’t even have the time and care to give any comments on others. It will be peaceful world for sure.

Why is it awkward to give compliments? This is based on observation, I think it’s the same on how we accept compliments. We feel awkward right? I think most of us are hesitant to give out compliments because we’re not sure on how the other person will react on it. Many people shut down compliments because they have low self-esteem and they feel like it’s not true, they see their selves as the complete opposite of the compliment. And it made me think again how this falls on the problem of self-love. Can you believe many problems and complications arise from having a little and no love for yourself?

Just some thoughts I have. Sorry for this short post, I’m so annoyed how critical and judgmental people can be on social media. You can’t really express yourself nowadays, even when you help others there are still those trolls who will ruin your day.

Anyways, see you on my next post! 😊

Please check out this article by Sumeet Why Hating Someone Is So Stupid (And How To Stop It) this blog post from Sumeet triggered me to write this post.

P.S. Please be kind to everyone, if you feel the urge to give a bad comment, contemplate and keep it to yourself. Spread love and kindness.

P.P.S. Love yourself.

THE QUIET ONE

Well this was too soon to what I said from my last post that I’m not going to be here that much anymore but I had the time and words, I just need to spill some thoughts out. Here’s me opening up more about what I think about the stuff people say to me and about me.

I’ve always been labeled as the quiet one, sometimes crabby because of my resting bitch face but most of the time I’m the “quiet one”.

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KEEP YOUR PERSONAL ISSUES PRIVATE

There are things that should be kept to yourself, things that only your inner circle should know and not the whole world. Basically, in today’s time we’re asking ourselves to be stalked just by posting status, photos and other personal stuff on social media but I think there’s a limit to it. We all have that freewill in using social media but there is also a thin line between sharing and oversharing. There are things that I think should be kept private and not broadcast it to the world where you just basically reveal all your problems and other information that can be used against you.

Personal issues should be handled privately because how I see it, posting it online could cause to unresolved problems because of other people’s opinion on it. Only those who are involved in the issue should be the ones who handle it and not ask for sympathy or comment from the online world. You may not care what others think about how open you are but think about the other people who are involved in the situation and how you could have slander them with inaccurate information because you chose to post it online rather than discuss it privately. Stuff like these also shows your character and how you respect others because the people you have issues with they were your friends and even family, you have fights and misunderstandings but that shouldn’t stop you from being a kind and respectful person. Always be the bigger man and always be mindful of your actions because you may feel better about venting it out online but you’re not the only one who’s affected. I mostly read about stuff like a cheating husband, yes what the husband did was wrong but also think when you start posting this there are also kids who are involved and will be greatly affected by the situation. How will shaming the husband or the mistress help in solving the issue?

I read hundreds of posts like this everyday and they are letting people in on their dirty laundry or letting others grab a popcorn making their personal issues as a source of entertainment, doesn’t it bother them? Well, I wrote this post because I’m bothered by how busy people are with publicizing their problems rather than solving it privately. How about they took all that time they rendered on writing those long posts in discussing their problem with one another? Or maybe they just really like the publicity? The likes? The comments? Whatever it is I hope they realize the consequences of their actions and also realize that posting it online is not the only way to vent out. It is not the right way and channel to grab someone’s attention, use the traditional way and communicate, talk it out calmly and discuss it privately.

Credits to Photo Owner