FANGIRL: AN INTROVERT WRITER’S BOOK 

I finished reading the book Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell a few days ago and I don’t often write about the books I read except if I really connected to it and for this book you probably got the idea.

I actually don’t know the main reason why I loved the book, I don’t know if it’s because of the story or because of the way I relate to Cath so much but either way Fangirl is a good read. 

I loved how Cath managed her life and all the stress she went through and also I loved how she stepped out of her comfort zone without actually changing herself. Other people may actually think that the conflict in this book was quite shallow for a fiction but in reality if you’re an introvert every little misalignment on your routine could be a big problem especially when the character was also dealing with anxiety. I enjoyed reading the book even though it never really took me on a  ride like I wanted to but overall I really liked it. This book is all about coping with changes and going out of your comfort zone. So if you struggle with those things might as well read this.

But this book is clearly for the introverts, how the main character Cath loved reading, writing, staying in and how she hated socializing, parties and extrovert stuff. Introverts will probably see their life in this story especially those who are introvert writers. 

This book also showed the essence of writing by how Cath made writing as a daily necessity and it also showed the struggle she had with writing, such as writer’s block, writing the same theme and etc. So you bloggers/writers will totally love this book as well.

More reviews on goodreads.

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ALL THE BRIGHT PLACES

“I should mention that I am a brilliant deflector.”

“I’m waiting for something. I have no idea what.”

“My own brain is to me the most unaccountable of machinery–always buzzing, humming, soaring roaring diving, and then buried in mud.”

“When we’re in the act of wandering, we need to be present, not watching it through a lens.”

“I would have written till it was out of me and on the page.”

“Sorry wastes time. you have to live your life like you’ll never be sorry. It’s easier to just to do the right thing from the start so there’s nothing to apologize for.”

“Headaches are a part of it. It’s like my brain is firing so fast that it can’t keep up with itself. Words. Colors. Sounds. Sometimes everything else fades into the background and all I’m left with is sound.”

“I know life well enough to know you can’t count on things staying around or standing still, no matter how much you want them to. You can’t stop people from dying. You can’t stop them from going away. You can’t stop yourself from going away either. I know myself well enough to know that no one else can keep you awake or keep you from sleeping. That’s all on me too.”

“I’ve learned the hard way that the best thing to do is say nothing about what you’re really thinking. If you say nothing, they’ll assume you’re thinking nothing, only what you let them see.”

“The problem with people is they forget that most of the time it’s the small things that count.”

“Life will get better, and it isn’t only hard times and hard people, that there are bright spots too.”

“What if life could be this way? Only the happy parts, none of the terrible, not even the mildly unpleasant. What if we could just cut out the bad and keep the good? Keep away the bad, so that good is all we ever have around us.”

“‘Lovely’ is a lovely word that should be used more often.”

“In this house there’s no such thing as being sick unless you can measure it with a thermometer under the tongue. Things fall into categories of black and white–bad mood, bad temper, loses control, feels sad, feels blue.”

“Things feel true to us even if they’re not.”

“I’m afraid of me.”

“It’s like I’ve got this angry little person inside me, and I can feel him trying to get out. He’s running out of room because he’s growing bigger and bigger, and so he starts rising up, into my lungs, chest, throat, and I just push him right back down. I don’t want him to come out. I can’t let him out.”

“Jealousy is a mean, unpleasant feeling that only eats you from the inside.”

“Disguise the pain. Don’t call attention. Don’t be noticed.”

“We are all alone, trapped in these bodies and our own minds and whatever company we have in this life is only fleeting and superficial.”

“I am broken. I am a fraud. I am impossible to love.”

“I get into these moods sometimes, and I can’t shake them.–Kind of black, sinking moods. I imagine it’s what being in the eye of a tornado would be like, all calm and blinding at the same time. I hate them.”

“The cadence of suffering has begun. – Cesare Pavese. I am in pieces.”

“Doesn’t anyone care why he comes and goes? Have you ever stopped to think that something might be wrong with this?”

“We do not remember days, we remember moments.”

“Your hope lies in accepting your life as it now lies before you, forever changed. If you can do that, the peace you seek will follow.”

“We can’t always see what others don’t want us to. Especially when they go to great lengths to hide it.”

“No one will even miss me. They won’t know I’m gone. The world will go on, and it won’t matter that I’m not here. Maybe it’s better if I was never here.”

“The thing I realize is that it’s not what you take it’s what you leave.”

 

ALL OF THESE LINES ARE FROM MY NEW FOUND FAVORITE BOOK THAT GOES BY THE NAME “ALL THE BRIGHT PLACES” BY JENNIFER NIVEN. I TOOK NOTES AND THESE LINES ARE THE ONES THAT MADE SENSE TO ME AT THE TIME.(Actually, I might have written the entire book here if I continue).

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I finished this book awhile ago, it’s a fun read I must say but also quite emotional. I love the depth of Theodore Finch’s character. I love how the two main characters really helped each other to hold on to life, I love the way how Finch was very determined to fix himself for Violet and to keep an eye on her, I see Finch as a very heroic character because until the end he still kinda helped Violet to live out her life and to continue her journey. Sadly for Violet he couldn’t save Finch, there is this one line in her letter to Finch after he died that quite struck me, “You saved my life. Why couldn’t I save yours?”.

The thing about this book is that a broken girl meets a suicidal guy, you would think it would be chaos but no they helped each other. Finch helped Violet to move past her fears and go on with her life and Violet unconsciously helped Finch to hold on, Finch found Violet as the reason to stay a little longer until it went really bad for him. Maybe that is life, you just really need a reason and a purpose to stay, you need that Jovian-Plutonian gravitational effect in your life just like how Finch described Violet in his life, “The only person I want to see. My Jovian-Plutonian gravitational effect.”

This book had me forever changed. Read it for yourself. Check out other reviews at goodreads 🙂

I WAS HERE

Is it really much easier to just not exist? Does taking your own life will be the best answer?

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I just finished reading a book about depression and suicide. A novel by Gayle Forman which is entitled I Was Here. The story goes on with Cody who was left by her best friend Meg who committed suicide, she was left with anger, sadness and questions as to why her best friend had ended her life. She goes on investigating and finding answers to her best friend’s death, who made her do it? Not knowing that her best friend was suffering from depression which was the main reason as to why Meg was suicidal as stated by Meg’s parents. By the way Cody described her best friend she sees Meg as a perfect person, Meg has everything, she pretty much had a great life as compared to Cody who was only raised by her mother herself but as she said she was raised by Meg’s parents because most of her life she was with Meg’s family and every good memories she have is with the family of Meg. Cody grew up not knowing her dad and later on found out that her dad is a douche while Meg has a loving mother and father who give everything that she needs. Cody is not rich compare to Meg who got to go to college and Cody was left in their town. Seeing this comparison with the characters I would have understood it more if Cody was the one who ended her life and not Meg. Also in the story, before Cody knew that her best friend suffered from depression she found out that Meg was communicating with people who encourages others to end their life and Cody found this guy who she believes that made Meg kill herself but the guy uses quotes from other people and he never really said that Meg should do it, he did not utter any words that directly said that Meg should kill herself, with this I got the thinking that we all have a choice, no one can force us into doing something that we don’t want to do, so with Meg she wanted it.

Reading this book was quite depressive I must say, I just felt sad after I finished it. But if you want to understand depression more you should read this.

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You can’t really understand depression because people who suffer from this also don’t understand their own emotions, sometimes you don’t even know that they are suffering from it for they wear a mask to hide it, just like Meg who seems to have everything in the world but deep down inside she felt something is missing or something about her life doesn’t seem right. Depression can happen to anyone no matter what their status in life.

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I think at some point in our lives we have gone through the stage where we just want to be gone and not exist, we all have that low point stage in our lives and I think that’s just normal but for those people who suffer from depression I guess it’s quite different for them, it’s like they are living in a world full of sadness and they don’t know how to get out and sometimes it leads to ending their existence which they think is the best answer. To those people who suffer from this illness” even if you can’t see just walk with faith, everything will be alright, don’t kill yourself (literally), just be strong and hang on a little bit longer.

And for everybody else pay close attention to your friends and family sometimes they try to tell you in ways that you won’t easily notice, it’s in the way they walk, the way they look at you, the movie they watch, the songs they listen to, sometimes they joke about it, they might have told you but you did not listen attentively.

*Credits to the photo owners