TOXIC FAMILY CULTURE: PARENTS TREATING THEIR CHILD AS AN INVESTMENT

Credits to Collegenp

Hello there everyone, I am hesitant to talk about this topic because I know Philippines and other countries has a family-oriented culture. Therefore, maybe not a lot of people will agree with me on this one but hear me out.

I know how most of us say that after we graduate and finish school, we’re going to make our parents proud and give back for all the sacrifices and hardships that they endured to raise us up. I know that, because I also said that when I graduated, and then I got a job. I got to experience how hard it is to earn, finally knowing the true value of it because I worked for it. My aunt who raised me, never obligated me to give a portion of my salary to her, but I did anyway.

Parents should know how hard the world is and it’s a competitive world. In the Philippines, cost of living is expensive and obligating their kids to give back with a starting minimum salary is too much. Parents should never ask or pressure their child to pay back. It is not a child’s obligation to pay back their parents because it is a parents’ job to give their child the best life without receiving anything in return. But there are parents who treat their child as a way to make their quality of life better in the future. Some even stop working just because their kids already graduated. Some pass their dreams to their child, so that they can live the life that they wanted in the past. Some force their kids to take a college program that isn’t even the kid’s choice as long as the job that they will get, will earn a lot. And when their child finally gets a job, they will have a say in everything and it never ends until their child will develop a frustrating feelings against their parents.

I have nothing against parents and this is not applicable in all cases, I just think that making choices for their child or obligating the child to support them is like holding back the child’s future and living their life. Parents have each other to be with, husband and wife support each other like “until death parts us”. The child is needed to be set free to also find their other half, and that will not happen if in the child’s mind is he/she needs to support their parents. The child needs to live their own life and parents need to set them free after they guided them, and they can finally make their own choices in life.

I’m not saying that kids should forget about their family or that it’s wrong to support your parents, what I’m trying to point out here is that parents should not force or pressure their kids to have a mindset that they have to work hard so that they can give back to their parents. They have to instill in their mind that they have to work hard for their own good, and to have a great future for themselves.

Even if we’re in a culture of being family oriented, this trait is a bit toxic and we need to stop treating the youth as an investment, let’s guide them but make them grow by themselves.

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